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Sunday, December 4, 2016


Yesterday, my sunset was not particularly spectacular, but, nevertheless inspirational. 

My thinking is secular, but on Sundays I'm sometimes spiritually philosophical.  I woke up this morning and wondered, I'm here, so what's next?  I googled "I'm Here," and found a film by that name starring Andrew Garfield (that pacifist hero in Hacksaw Ridge).  Never saw I'm Here, a short one of only 35 minutes by Spike Jonz for Absolute Vodka as a promotion in 2010, but Rotten Tomatoes audiences gave it a 90 rating.  The story is of a robot who lives in Los Angeles a long time into the future when there was peaceful commingling with humans.  Sheldon, the robot, falls in love with Francesca, another robot, and at the end gives up his body to save her life.  I thought, I'd have done the same for Pearl.

But I'm here, in the closest thing to Purgatory, and, maybe this could even be it, with those reading this posting, then, also here.  But if not, 15 Craigside is a nice cocoon, where I've recently decided to further minimize stress by, in the short time available, only doing what I want.  Now, this is not an optimal attitude if Heaven is the desired goal, for the whole purpose of this transitional status is to purify yourself.   But I don't believe in this nonsense, so I'm still left with this final stage before that dreaded eternal gloom.

Clearly, I've boxed myself into a lifestyle with limited options.  If I had not donated my apartment to the University of Hawaii for the Blue Revolution, I could have splurged a few times.  That World Cruise of 2018?  Delayed to 2020, and very dubious at that because my colleague who spurred this extravagance could well be much too busy for a long time to come, and my possible shipmate(s) also occupied in their own world.  

The cost is also worrisome, for I'll still need to provide to 15 Craigside $4000/month for four months.  Then,  if Crystal ever organizes a real global journey (all their supposedly world-wide itineraries currently fall short), that could well be another $50,000.  So I will need to find a compatible female partner who can pay her own way.  This will remain a welcome challenge for a few years.

My likely culmination is mostly predictable:  
  • Tragically in some vehicle, probably a car, so to minimize this potential, I'm close to giving up driving...or buy a sporty Prius, when Toyota gets around to offering one.
  • Attempting to cross a street as a pedestrian, which is why I use some kind of cane whenever I go for a walk, as cars are afraid of anyone with this handicap, plus three legs are better than two, and this instrument should protect against marauding dogs.
  • Sudden stroke, heart attack are something similar.
  • Life term on the second floor of 15C.
That fourth is particularly vexing, because just staying alive is forbidding.  I'm reminded of Still Alice, where Alice, played by Julianne Moore, develops a strategy for committing suicide before Alzheimer's takes over her mind.  I had the audacity to inquire with 15 Craigside about a terminal solution, and, as a church-run organization, the discussion was not pleasant.  So there will certainly be a follow-up posting on what next.

However, tonight, which means my posting tomorrow, my Monday Night Table will embark on another ethanol adventure.  For some, this will be their first experience with scotch.  We dine with Johnnie Walker.


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