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Saturday, January 31, 2015

HOW TO BE BECOME A SUPER BOWL PARTY STAR

If you're here because you are interested in Super Bowl XLIX, the game itself on Sunday, you might want to click on information for the casual fan, produced by the National Football League.  My purpose today is to make you the star of your SBowl party.  You will gain so much esoteric intelligence, that people will wonder about your life priorities:
  • XLIX is the roman numeral for 49, so there have been 48 super bowls thus far.
  • The weather at 6;30PM ET will be beautiful at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale Arizona:  68F with 4 MPH winds and no rain, but that doesn't matter, for there is a retracting roof if necessary.  Last year there was no roof in New Jersey, a major snowstorm had come through and game temperatures dropped into the 30's at game end.   Seattle dumped Denver 43-8.  This year, Seattle versus  New England.
  • The sun will not set until close to halftime.
  • The cheapest seat available on Thursday was $9205, and only 20 were available.
  • Of course, you can watch NBC for free beginning with the pregame at 1PM ET.
  • The two media events thus far:
    • View New England Coach Bill Belicheck giving 8 reasons why he knew nothing about deflate-gate, in 25 seconds (get to know a few things about this controversy by clicking on it).
    • The outrageous Seattle running back Marshawn Lynch, here performing at one of the official Super Bowl press conferences.
  • Many watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials.  You can save yourself a few hours (or give your party-watchers a clue that you have psychic capabilities) by just clicking on The Top Super Bowl XLIX Ads.  Yes, these are what  everyone will see on Sunday!
    • Budweiser's Lost Dog
    • BMW with Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel, a whole minute to promote its electric car
    • Skittles with the indomitable Marshawn Lynch
    • Bud Light
    • Nissan with Dad
    • Snickers and the Brady Bunch
    • Dove
    • P&G Like a Girl
    • Newcastle
    • Victoria's Secret
    • Toyota
    • Carl's Jr Au Naturel
    • Coca Cola Welcome to the Internet
    • Kia's Perfect Getaway, with Pierce Brosnan
    • Mercedes Fable
    • GoDaddy Lost Puppy (whoops, was pulled, but see it anyway)
    • McDonald's Pay with Lovin'
    • Reebock Freak Show
    • and a dozen more
  • NBC sold out of ads, but only on Wednesday.  30 seconds? $4.5 million.  Want to see more?
    • Anheuser Busch?  3 minutes 30 seconds.
    • Doritos got 4900 submissions and picked ten finalists, and one will be shown.
    • Lindsay Lohan will star in an Essurance commercial.
    • Kim Kardashian West for T-Mobile surely looked provocative.
    • There will be a trailer for the fourth Jurassic Park.
  • Pepsi is sponsoring halftime, with Katy Perry, joined by Lenny Kravitz.

There will be a football game.  But first, the pre-game program, which this year will feature America the Beautiful by John Legend, then, Idina Menzel's rendition of the National Anthem.   Who is she?  She sang the Star Spangled Banner at the Major League All Star Game last year.  She also happened to sing the Academy Award Best Song last year, Let It Go, in Disney's Frozen.

Millions will be gambled, most illegal, and many idiotic propositions will be offered, like you get 18:1 odds on betting that Katy Perry wears a whipped cream bikini.  Belicheck is popular:  there are odds on him smiling or not during the entire game.  If Marshawn Lynch grabs his crotch after scoring a touchdown, a $100 bet will pay $400.  The NFL fined him $20,000 for this action two weeks ago.  They also gamble on the game itself. 

All 53 players on the winning team will get $97,000, $49,000 for losers.  In total, the winners will each receive $165,000 just for the playoff.  Only $5K is spent for each Super Bowl Championship ring, but the 2005 version won by New England seems now to be worth $65,000.  Lawrence Taylor auctioned his 1991 ring in 2012 for $231,601.  And, no, the rings are not that big.


Of course, no Super Bowl review is complete without mention of the most important part of the whole happening:  food and drinks.  We're not talking high gastronomy.  This is the day for decadent snacks.  Let me push aside the healthy ones with fruits, hummus and vegetable wraps.  This is just not that day.  And, by the way, if you do serve hummus from Sabra (which just so happen to be the official dips sponsor for the NFL), owned by PepsiCo, they use GMO's soybeans, so be prepared to be picketed.  


According to the National Chicken Council, the winner is the chicken wing.  1.25 billion will be served.  These wings weigh 6,000 times more than the combined weight of both teams.  Buffalo might complain, but Korean restaurants make the best chicken wings.  Darstardly, but there apparently aren't enough chicken wings in America, for strips of breast added to the batch is being referred to as boneless wings.  This is also the annual peak for pizza and tortilla chips, for nachos are right up there with wings.

Yes, if you are driving don't drink, but if you are a Seattle fan, then there is the Skittles Shrub.  The problem is that you will need to soak Skittles in Champagne vinegar and the drink will be sour.   Skittles Vodka is simple enough.  

There is always the Jell-O shot, where you can creatively select the color of your team and use the shot of your choice.  The potency can also be engineered.


More than 110 million will be watching this Super Bowl on Sunday, just in North America.  How significant is this?  Well:
  • In 1983, when the U.S. population was 234 million (we are now up to 316 million), the M*A*S*H farewell got 125 million viewers.
  • Elvis' Aloha from Hawaii might have reached 500 million in 1973
  • In 1969 (world population then was 3.63 billion, double that today), 530 million watched Neil Armstrong step on the Moon.
  • The World Cup Final between Germany and Argentina last year drew around a billion worldwide.
  • The 2011 Cricket World Cup semi-final between India and Pakistan was watched by a billion.
  • The 2008 Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony had about 2 billion viewers.
So, nothing particularly great about the upcoming 49th Super Bowl, Deflate-gate and Marshawn Lynch will further insure for its appropriate stature in world sports.  However, have fun and stun your colleagues.

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1 comment:

thudong xuanha said...

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