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Friday, February 10, 2017

MY HORRID DAY IN HONOLULU

Today was supposed to be the day I unveiled the surprise pill of the decade:  Vitamin B12.  However, for the sake of timeliness, I will instead share with you my terrible yesterday, and tomorrow, B12.

Horrid might actually be a bit exaggerated, but it is alliterative, and Thursday was a not a good day for me in Honolulu.  How bad?
  • For years I've been looking for a microfiber fabric portable recliner for my Diamond Head bentos.  Someone said, check the internet.  So I did, and Amazon had something almost worthy of trying, except it was out of stock with no date of availability.  I'm starting at the lowest level of aggravation.
  • At dinner two nights ago I asked the group on my table, where would be the best place I could go for lunch tomorrow, the more expensive the better.  We could not come up with that obviously optimal restaurant.
  • The next day came and I got the sudden urge to find a gold-colored jogging shorts, so I went to Ala Moana Shopping Center, as, for sure, there had to also be an upscale lunch opportunity there.  I first went to  40 Carrots at Bloomingdale's because when 15 Craigside was last there there was a Japanese wagyu beef loco moco on the specialty menu.  Well, this dish is now made with lobster, and I'm allergic to crustaceans.
  • As it was close by, I then went to Shirokiya Japanese Village Walk, where there there is Gourmet Plaza, 14 specialty bistros largely featuring wagyu meat.  Alas, the exorbitant prices have made this a disaster zone, for all of these stations are not open for business.  
  • After buying a $1 Primo beer, I walked around and thought some cold soba would do fine.  I stood in line at Usagiya and just before it came to my turn, a second line formed on the other side of the counter.  After several rebuffs, a kind lady customer allowed me to order, and I decided on cold soba.  Then I waited....and waited...and waited.  After 15 minutes, I went back and inquired.  The person at the cash register said, rather insolently, be patient.   I mean, how long can it take to prepare cold soba?  Finally, I got my order and was totally disappointed, for the soba was in a broth.  This was like ordering cold saimin.  What you see here cost $14, and, remember, the beer was all of $1.  WORST LUNCH I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME.
  • Next door was Manichi, and there was a TV showing how this ramen/gyoza restaurant got started.   With nothing else to do but watch, I learned that the present owner, Minoru Tanaka, hated this shop started by his family.  But his father suddenly died, and his mother took over.  He left as soon as he could, but one day, his mother called and said she was giving up the restaurant.  He felt so guilty he returned, took over and, in time, it was named the #1 ramen shop in Japan and, also, using the recipe of his grandfather, the #1 gyoza place.  Next time I'll go there.
  • I then walked the complete length of the shopping center to Macy's to look for those gold shorts, stopping along the way in surf gear stores, etc.  In Macy's I found something that was hardly 10% gold, but better than nothing.  I also picked up a couple of other items that in total cost me $115.  If you look into my walk-in closet, you will agree with me that the last thing I need is more clothes.  The scary part of all this was that as I was waiting to use the fitting room, two men in front of me began to argue and punches were almost thrown.  This was one of those local angry young man versus white tourist encounters that occurs too often.  I wondered if I should intercede, but it was over before I could get brave enough to do that.  I need a lot more Tai Chi to even think of being a physical peacemaker.
  • No portable recliner at Ala Moana Shopping Center, so I went to Home Depot, and, as I was there anyway, picked up a plant.  While standing in line to pay, the undercover staff stopped an old Filipino man walking out who began to cry, for he had on him some tools he was shoplifting.  He was on the ground, and, oh my, how sad.
  • Finally, I went to CVS Long's to look for a Chianti, the kind covered in a wicker basket, as last tonight we had spaghetti.  There was none, but while there I noticed a homeless looking guy stuffing wine bottles into his backpack.  At that moment, a staff member went up to him, placed the bottles back on to the rack, and forcefully walked him out and told him not to ever return.
I might see one of these incidents perhaps every decade.  Three in one day, plus a junk meal.

True, my horrid day is in contrast to my usual fantasy life of bliss.  Plus, this would well have been a terrific day if you lived in Nairobi or were in jail.  I should be more thankful, for I did not contract food poisoning, get into a traffic accident or suffer a heart attack.  So yesterday    might well have been an almost marvelous day in Honolulu, for the sun was shining (that is my view of Punchbowl from my computer), my dinner group enjoyed our Italian meal and solved problems of the world for two hours and I won at poker.


The Dow Jones Industrial Average jumped 97 points to 20269, another all-time record.

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