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Thursday, May 19, 2011

THE MIRACLE OF PIK-NIK

The past couple of days have been pretty heavy (wind power and the national debt), that I thought the next two should be at the irreverence end of the spectrum.  Tomorrow, a peek at the RAPTURE (left), as I prepare you for yet another doomsday on May 21.  Today, I was having lunch in my room with tomato soup, celery sticks and Pik-Nik, the original shoestring potato snack with zero trans fat and gluten, when I realized I had discovered yet another miracle.

But before I focus on the title of this posting, let me mention a few things about the celery diet, which "promises" to drop your weight by 10-15 pounds if you keep to their strict regimen for only two weeks.   I have raw celery, maybe for two meals a month, with other similar almost idiotic aids (such as cabbage, no, not that cabbage soup diet, although I love borsch, a Russian beef and beet soup that also has a lot of cabbage), and with some vigorous (walking on a golf course qualifies by my standards) exercise, keeps my weight in check.  At my age I can't imagine ingesting celery in creative ways for fourteen straight days, especially as alcohol is expressly forbidden.  The key is that you lose more calories trying to digest this vegetable than it itself contains.

Now, about that miracle.  First you should click on Pat's miracles, to read about my Schick razor, leg cramp prevention soap fix and the University of Hawaii football team.  #4, this cylindrical can of shoestring potatoes, is a modern marvel.  I can open the top, eat as much as I can, slip it in a giant ziplock bag, take out another batch a couple of weeks later, repeat this a few more times, and at three months, first, still remains almost full (because the whole thing fluffs up) and the strings are still tasty and crisp.  No preservatives are used.  Amazing!

According to the provided nutrition facts, this cylinder has nine servings  at 160 Calories each.  No cholesterol, no trans fat, but 25% saturated grasa (spanish for fat), which means I can have 75% more to meet my daily requirements.

Today was my fourth extraction from this circa February 2011 container, and, after I had my fill, the 9 ounce can is more than half full.  I'm tempted to toss it all away, because it surely by the next opening will be tainted with botulism....ah, no, I think I'll keep it one final time just in case of an emergency.  Plus, think of the survivors of the Great Tohuku Earthquake, Tsunami and Nuclear Disaster.  IF THIS IS NOT A MIRACLE, Pik-Nik, that is, WHAT IS?  Can you imagine keeping a Mcdonald's french fry for three months?  (The secret is that the former lacks moisture, while the latter does not.)

Tomorrow, the RAPTURE.

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The Dow Jones Industrials went up 45 to 12,605, with world markets mixed.  Gold fell $3/toz to $1494 and oil is slightly lower (see right).

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