This should be a sad month for me, as my wife of 47 years passed away ten years ago. She went in the morning, in the afternoon I posted on Gratitude...Not Grief, and The Huffington Post published it the next morning.
We talked at some length about death and the afterlife, and perhaps I convinced her that there was none. Then again, maybe not, for she sort of still believed in angels. We both did not want funerals, but a celebration of life might be appropriate. We also didn't think much about the need for gravestones. 
I never previously imagined a tribute to her, but people left money at her celebration of life, so I decided to use it to plant a tree she liked. I know it had yellow flowers, so I used her funds (we kept separate spending accounts) to travel around the world to find this tree. During this traumatic month, I thought I'd also place her ashes at places she wanted to visit but did not, mostly because I wasn't interested. Kind of an atonement process. The first ceremony was a private one at Rainbow Falls. I'm close to completing an e-book on these journeys to 50+ sites.
While I was in Bangkok on this search, her sister-in-law, Gwen, who worked at a botanical park in Hilo, informed me that the name was the Gold Tree. Eventually at least 100 trees were planted, including at the Hilo Municipal, Ala Wai and Makalena Golf Courses. The Ala Wai ones all passed away, but Pearl's cousin, also from Hilo, recently sent me a note that the Hilo golf course tree is now somewhere between 30 and 40 feet tall.
There should be a Sunday message to this story, but the surprising, if not shocking, twist, is that, as well-matched as we were, and I was indeed very lucky, for she did everything for me, my life the past decade has been absolutely fabulous. I think it has to do with my reaction to trauma. Her sudden departure should have left me crushed, and certainly in grief. Neither happened. Gratitude led me to the Gold Tree and Pearl's Ashes.
It's almost like she gave me a final gift to enjoy the rest of my life in whatever way I wanted, which I have. In October of last year I again experienced this backlash effect when I couldn't walk one night. This cleared up in a few minutes, but distress sparked euphoria. This sense of general ecstasy went away when I went on two trips. They were great, and sure, I'm holding a $900 bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild, but still stressful. There was a mild E2 between those trips.
I returned at the beginning of last month to undertake two medical procedures. I had purposefully delayed doing them, fearing the worse, because I had been too lucky all my life, and some balance was overdue. Thankfully, everything went so well that I entered Euphoria 3, which has continuously been with me for six weeks.
When Pearl died, my view of death changed. So much so that I stopped going to funerals, except one, when the wife of the deceased called me to provide a eulogy. Plus, my attitude about life significantly shifted from others to me.
All my life I have been generous and went out of my way to help people. I've given more than anyone I know. That was fine, but sometimes the effect can be stressful, for most of my professional career involved finding annual funds to support a hundred staffers. Even in retirement, I was still writing books and taking on chairmanships of good causes.
Finally, three years ago I decided to end all that and now focus on myself. Mind you, I'm not an ogre, for I still smile and am mostly kind. However, simple things like I stopped giving gifts, thankfully accepting what I am given. Anyone my age deserves this. It's easier for me, as Pearl and I had no children. As you can see, I'm also eating well.
I'm now only a little more than a year away from reaching reaching 80. Getting to the Year 2020 has long been one of my goals since coming up with Earth 2020: Visions for Our Children's Children, a NASA-sponsored public education program linking the University of Hawaii with similar institutions in California on sustainability, environmental accountability and world peace.
Death is seen by some, if not many, as something terrible. For me it could lead to eternal blackness or gloom. Then again, maybe I should look at my final phase as everlasting peace of mind. In any case, it would be nice if my current state of Euphoria 3 continues till....and who knows, I might actually wake up in Heaven.-
In the East Pacific Ocean is Tropical Storm Erick, who will become a hurricane, head in the direction of Hawaii, but hopefully weaken back into a tropical storm when he arrives on Friday:
But, ah, right behind is Flossie.
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