INDIA IS AN EXPERIENCE

Let's forget yesterday. I'm appalled that I said "India Sucks."

Today, though, was not much different, but my attitude has re-adjusted and returned to my normal self. To begin, can you believe there are 82 HD channels, and at the time of the Super Bowl, there were 6 soccer matches, 2 rugby, 2 badminton, 1 tennis, 1 golf, 1 auto racing, 3 cricket and, on ESPN, a SEC gymnastics competition. NO SUPER BOWL in Delhi. Anyway, I couldn't have caught all of it as at 6:15AM I was picked up for my Taj Mahal encounter, the primary reason why I'm on this trip.

There was a driver of a minivan and a navigator, joined by a tour guide for a person from Sweden, another from Turkey and myself. Remember from yesterday, all this cost me about $50, including lunch.

The drive of 4 hours to Agra was a nightmare. Early in the morning, a red light means please consider slowing down, but, if there appears to be no crossing traffic, whiz through as fast as possible. The 130 mile ride was mostly down a four lane highway, with a few complications. Ox, goat and horse driven carts; wandering cattle and water buffalo; way overloaded trucks; tuk-tuks that carry not two people, but up to 20; congested towns; people running across the street and horrendous air pollution (it was smokey the whole way). For transportation buffs, you will see every possible mode of transport since the dawn of civilization, including trains that seem to move along well and, above, airplanes, which I only imagined were there, for the haze is worse than when the volcano emission envelopes Honolulu.

We finally got to Agra and went straight to the Taj Mahal. The cost of entrance was about $20 for this and the Red Fort. Frankly, like Angkor Wat, the experience was not awesome. I'm glad I came, I enjoyed the tour, but I was sort of disappointed. These accompanying photos actually show the Taj to be whiter than actual. This is one of the 8 wonders of the world. Time and pollution, though, have stained the white marble. But, after all, this complex is more than 350 years old. I did, however, honor Pearl.

No, I'm not dropping Pearl's ashes, but below is where I selected as her site. I asked around for a possible yellow tree, but could not find one.

The location is at the base of the kind of pine tree found in Hawaii, plus, next to it, what looked like a lehua blossom found on the Big Island:

The Red Fort, almost 450 years old, is the second must see, but, again, I'm templed and forted out to enjoy any more tours. The lunch at a 5-star restaurant was Indian, and good, with Kingfisher, an Indian beer.

The most exciting part was the ride back to Delhi, all 6 hours of it. This was the equivalent of the road through hell. They say that just at the moment of a catastrophe, time slows, like, say, your car meeting another head-on at 60 miles per hour. To survive in this traffic, the driver needs to be intrepid, no, make that, reckless. He needs to fearlessly pass cars and toot his horn as much as possible. Time virtually stopped for me at least a dozen times today.

The miracle of it all is that not once did our van even scrape another vehicle. I did not see an accident all day. However, an hour into Delhi we ran into an electrical storm. If you never have been through one of these, you're in luck. In one town there was a siren blowing. Maybe tornadoes? Lightning hit a pole in front of us and sparks fell on the road. But, I landed at the Le Meridien, which, I said yesterday, is an oasis.

I was so exhausted about surviving the day that I ordered room service: a butter/pesto tossed linguine with a bolognese sauce, accompanied by an asparagus Caesar salad. I opened the bottle of bordeaux provided the Le Meridien and had one of the better meals on this trip:

-

See Dow Jones Industrials and price of crude oil to the right. Both the American Dow Jones Industrials and Japan Nikkei are now below $10,000.

-

Wow, there is an actual Tropical Cyclone PAT, now at 65 MPH, heading west in the general direction of French Polynesia. It turned away from the Cook Islands and should not affect Fiji.

-

INDIA SUCKS…*

…so far. This should get some reaction from my India readership, for, yes, I'm really disappointed at my treatment going through customs. Please comment on how I might more easily pass through the next time. SHOULD I BE WORRIED ABOUT LEAVING YOUR COUNTRY???

The flight from Bangkok was enjoyable. The plane lands on time, I pick up my bags and get sent to another baggage check area, where they find my computer. I am asked, how much is this worth? I say $2000. The customs officer says, I need to pay duty. No sense continuing this discussion, for the drill is that they find something to charge you extra, so I coolly give him the equivalent of $100 (surreptitiously, under the table….really!), for that is just the price of a typical dinner on this trip. He offers me tea, I say no thanks, and he ooshes me on, but as I’m about to exit the customs area, another officer notices that I have $5000 of cash indicated on the form, which he says has to be taxed. Without argument I pass on another $20 and move on. I suspect $20 would have sufficed for the first guy. This is reminiscent of Cairo, another nightmare, found in Chapter 6 of SIMPLE SOLUTIONS for Planet Earth.

But I’m smarter this time. I find the booth to pre-pay the taxi company. Don't even think about just getting any old taxi. Just $5 to get to my hotel. I find my way to the taxi stand, show the slip, and they say, go to the other side and catch a black and yellow cab. I stand in line again. No air conditioning (DON’T COME DURING THE SUMMER, FOR INDIA JUST HAD IT’S HOTTEST SUMMER ON RECORD IN 2009, and this is February 7) and a really crummy vehicle. The driver asks, where? I say, the Le Meridien. He says, huh? I show him my taxi receipt and hotel reservation. He seems puzzled. We drive on. I notice that the plumeria tree leaves are not green, but either tannish or grayish, depending on the dust in the area. In fact, everyone and everything is tannish or grayish. Just like Cairo.

I went through one of the most exciting rides of my life, almost exactly like a video game, for the cab has his horn tooting almost constantly, cutting in front and being aced out every few seconds. The lines on the road are meaningless. The larger the vehicle, the higher the priority, apparently. Some roads are closed for no reason whatsoever.

At some point when we are in gridlock, he asks again, what is the address. Yes, he speaks English. I remember that my hotel reservation had a sheet with a map. I show him the Le Meridien. He nods and smiles. He really did not know where we were going. We arrive, and he goes to the wrong entrance. Finally…finally, I have my bags back and I give him a 40 cent tip (not percentage, cents)…20 rupees. I don’t look to see how happy or angry he might be.

The Le Meridien is an OASIS. While almost a quarter century old, the whole place was given a total make-over two years ago. My kind of hotel. Shiny, large flat screen TV, great service.

First things first, and I joined a tour to Agra and the Taj Mahal for what I think is $50 (2400 rupees). Pick up at 6:15AM tomorrow and return at 10:15PM. I think, because a hotel car with driver was to have cost me $200.

I decided to walk around the hotel, got practically mugged, but pleasantly, by a couple of taxi drivers, who insisted that their tuk-tuk (they have the human kind as in Hanoi and the same two-cycle engine system of Bangkok) for less than a dollar could take me virtually anywhere, and that crossing the street was a problem. They were right, for Delhi has these traffic circles (photo from my room above), and you can’t see vehicles careening into you. Theoretically, it is a 10 minute walk to Connaught Place and 10 minutes the other way to India Gate. I chicken out and go back to the hotel and sign up for a city tour in two days. I leave for Barcelona in three days.

I’m having a Highland Park scotch, see (in a manner of speaking, for the atmosphere is reminiscent of Los Angeles, circa 1958) India Gate from my room and am cranking out this blog. The room came with a complimentary bottle of Bordeaux, but I’ll save that for another day. Yes, the Meridien is an oasis.

-

Visitors to this site: 23, 700

Visitors this week: 755

Number of countries: 132

-

TOP TEN IN SOUTHEAST ASIA + SOUTH KOREA

Thus far, I've visited Seoul (Korea); Hanoi, Danang and Saigon (Vietnam); Siem Reap (Cambodia); and Chiang Mai and Bangkok (Thailand). The Top Ten, thus far:

1. The people of Vietnam and Cambodia like us...Americans. They don't trust the Chinese and Russians. I found the people of Cambodia to be nicer than Thais, but I heard that the citizens of Laos are even friendlier.

2. The World is improving and Hawaii is not. When was the last major development for Hawaii? In South Korea, from my blog of January 20:

"Universal Studios will build a $2.7 billion theme park in Gyeonggi Province (37 miles southwest of Seoul). Paramount Pictures and MGM will also construct resort parks in Incheon. Eight such Seoul developments are expected to be in operation by 2012, and fourteen when you count the rest of the country. They hope to attract lots of visitors from China and Japan. HAWAII, WHAT ARE WE DOING?"

China Beach, Vietnam: a 100 yard wide beach so long, if you start in Waikiki, you would need to walk to Wahiawa, all of 19 miles. Five equivalents of Mauna Kea Beach Hotel are in advanced stages of construction, with a casino and two golf courses. Hawaii is rapidly being surpassed by attractions just about everywhere. We need to get our act together!!! We won't, of course, until that mega-depression hits us when the price of oil skyrockets past $150/barrel. But, then, won't that be too late?

3. Temples...temples...temples. Angkor Wat is just one of 300 in Cambodia. My favorite was Angkor Thom, where Angelina Jolie's tree can be found. Nearly a thousand years ago, with one million people, this region had the highest world population. But the opulence of those Thai temples are incredible. You were not allowed to take a photo of the Emerald Buddha, so I did.

4. There are three million motorbikes in Saigon, and each is a lethal weapon. Noise is thus an irritant, because everyone needs to pop a horn just to let others know where they are. It is said that one should closely follow local residents walking across the street, maintaining the same speed, for these vehicles will carefully avoid you. Huh! There are more than a thousand traffic deaths every day, and 8,000 more motorbikes are registered daily.

5. As you drive around your home town, survey the number of stores selling only computers and accessories. Let's see, there is Best Buy...hmm. In a short cyclo ride through Hanoi, I counted more than a hundred such stores.

6. I can't believe I'm saying this, but go to the Chiang Dao Elephant Camp. I generally don't enjoy these things, but these animals can paint and the ride is adventuresome.

7. The Chinese Han strategy to take over southeast asia is dead, although that domino theory about the region going communistic (the weapon of mass destruction reason for the U.S. entering the Vietnam War) was mostly correct. It's still a toss-up, but there is as much chance for Southeast Asia to, over the next generation, casting aside communism for democracy and a free enterprise government system. This is not to say that Western China and Tibet are safe.

8. Green Enertopia Project is advancing in South Korea. As it will host three G-20 gatherings this year [Incheon (February), Busan (June), Gyeongju (November)], perhaps the concept could take hold. My stop in Seoul also allowed me to further the Blue Revolution through Johnny Walker Blue diplomacy.

9. I'm writing an article on "Massage in Southeast Asia." Not sure who would publish it, but the price ranged from $12/hour for an oil massage across the street from the Shangri-La in Bangkok, to $150/hour at the Chiang Mai Four Seasons, selected in 2007 by Conde Nast Traveler as the world's best spa. I was going to say that this is like Wine Spectator choosing a $100/bottle wine as #1, but in 2009, the best wine was a $27 Columbia Crest Cabernet Sauvignon, and #2 from Spain was also $27/bottle. However, street prices for massage are much cheaper, but you worry a bit about many things. Incidentally, if you attempt to book a room at the Chiang Mai Four Seasons, the best price you will able to find is about $700/night for February 7.

10. In Vietnam and Cambodia, gasoline costs about $3.50/gallon and electricity around 5 cents/kWh. Thailand is also at $3.50/gallon or so, but electricity is a bit more than 10 cents/kWh. Hawaii pays $3.50/gallon for gasoline, but more than 20 cents/kWh for electricity. The national averages are: $2.68/gallon for regular and $2.94/gallon for premium, and about 12 cents/kWh for electricity.

My final meal in Thailand was at Kinsen in the Novotel Hotel, the only one attached to the Suvarnabhumi Airport. (I have a 7AM flight tomorrow morning.) I was not particularly hungry, for I had a late Kentucky Fried Chicken and Singha beer lunch, so it is particularly significant for me to say that this was the best Japanese dinner I've had in a long time. I ordered a teriyaki Hamachi Kama, which was perfectly prepared. The sashimi set was also fresh and tasty. Mr. Phuvanai was the perfect host and the ambience/decor was good. If you have an early departure from Bangkok, I would highly recommend staying at the Novotel and having dinner at Kinsen.

-

EATING AND CRUISING IN BANGKOK

Click on "Progress in Southeast Asia," my article today in The Huffington Post.

Last night, a fantastic dinner at Vertigo, 62 floors under the stars, with Curtis Lee (Hawaii) and Pat and Ray Potts (Oklahoma). As the reviews said, pricey, but amazing. The top entre is a Matsuzaka beef meal, for, actually, less than you would pay at very expensive restaurants around the world. This could be the #1 beef in the world, certainly, better than Kobe beef. How much? You need to go to find out.

Today, a boat ride, visit to another king's palace, lunch at the massive Seafood Market and Restaurant (can sit 1500). Their motto is: If it swims, we have it. Ray having a red snapper below.

Kerry Noyes and Joseph Kapolka (Minnesota) waiting for their meal to arrive.

The Tauck final supper was Thai at the Shangri-la. This was, maybe, the first time I actually enjoyed a Thai meal. I've hated Thai food all my life, probably because of the fish sauce, which is added to everything. It turns out that Vietnamese food also uses essentially this same fish sauce, which is, with variations, fermented anchovies (for a year or so), in saltwater. Thus, the slightly brownish liquid does not need to be refrigerated. I still don't like the smell, but I'm adjusting.

Curtis in the left photo and Dave Marder (California) on the right. Our dinner table with Karen and David Marder, Stan and Maureen Paperny (California) and Curtis.

-

The Dow jones snuck up 10 to 10,012, while world markets dropped, including Japan, which is now at 10,057. Which will sink below 10,000 first, for the Dow was at 9835 earlier today. Hey, our unemployment rate declined to 9.7%, after reaching a max of 10%, and staying there for two months. Crude oil fell all the way down to $71/barrel, while gold rose a buck to $1066/toz.

-

Tropical Cyclone Oli surprised everyone by suddenly intensifying up to a Category 4 storm, southwest of Tahiti. However Oli is moving away and, now at 120 MPH, weakening.

-

AMAZING BANGKOK

This is me below the national tree of Thailand, the Cassia fistula. At one time, we thought this was Pearl's Yellow Tree, but, no, it is the Cybistax donnell-sithii. No one here appears to know that the Cassia fistula is their national flower and tree. In fact, most thought that this tree did not grow in Bangkok.

Temple of the Emerald Buddha, my favorite temple for opulence. It just goes on and on.
Wat Arun (Temple of the Dawn), not enough gold and flash for me.

Barbara and Ron Dixon.

Claudia Taden and Tuk-tuk. We formed a parade of tuk-tuks with a police escort.

Mark and Barb Kuhlmann near the Temple of the Reclining Buddha, Wat Pho.

Front of the Reclining Buddha.

Back of Buddha.

Chao Phraya Dinner Cruise, David Mclaughlin (Oklahoma City) and Maureen/Stan Paperny (Woodland Hills and Roy's Restaurant) below and Curtis Lee (Honolulu), Steve Weiner and David Mclaughlin to the left.

-

Tropical Cyclone Oli, now at 75 MPH, skirted south of Bora Bora and seems headed for the Cook Islands.

-

-

THE KING AND I

King Rama IX (Bhumibol Adulyadej), while a symbolic figurehead, is a beloved leader of the Thailand. He is the longest reigning current monarch and has been ruling for 63 years. Sad to say that he has been hospitalized now for four months. While the clear next king would be his only son, Crown Prince Maha Vajiralongkorn, for by law, only males can ascend, plus his mother, Queen Sirikit, and the military support him, life is not all that simple.

His elder sister, Ubolratana Rajakanya, married an American, relinquished her royal title, but got divorced, and returned to Thailand, where she has redeemed herself. Child #3, Royal Princess Galyani Vadhana, is lot more popular (the Crown Prince is considered to be, frankly, a playboy),

generally represents the King at many ceremonies, and is reported to be his his favorite. If there were a national vote, she would most probably be voted as the next monarch. Thus, the transition, while legally and generally straightforward, could well become complicated.

Worse, there is this yellow (current leadership) and red shirt (supporters of former Thai leader Thaksin Shinawatra) split (about 50-50, varying depending on who you ask and when) that truly discombobulates the coming future. The yellow shirts closed their airports in 2008 and the red shirts have announced a similar protest for February 16-26. Good luck, if you plan to visit Thailand then, although all indications are that they will be "smarter" this time, whatever that means.

THE HILL TRIBES OF NORTH THAILAND

There are six hill tribes in Thailand, with the Hmong (pronounced mong) and Karen (pronounced Karen, like in the name) being the most recognized. There are now perhaps a quarter million of Hmong ancestry in the U.S., a larger population than now lives in Thailand. Clint Eastwood’s Grand Torino featured this group.

The Karen numbers around a third of a million in Thailand, and one sub-group features long necks for females. The rings weigh in the range of 10 pounds, and are, actually, one coil of brass. They are placed on a female (no males) as early as the age of 2, although 6 would be more likely, and lengthened over time until the age of 20. There is no standard length, with some being longer than others. Each individual polishes the brass everyday, and live with it for their lifetime. The story has something to do with tigers eating females in the villages when the men are out working, so these rings were protective. Today, there is some controversy about catering to tourism and the like.

One aside about working animals, as elephants are used for labor, and so are water buffalos, now returning in favor because of the high cost of petrol. However, 1200 monkeys are employed (for a couple of bananas) to pick coconuts. The guide said that a good man can pick 100 coconuts/day, while a great monkey can bring in more than 1000, and you need to pay the man. Actually, it turns out that monkeys are probably only good for 300 coconuts, and they are cheap to maintain.

To end the day, Curtis Lee and I had dinner with Geoffrey and Candy Habich of Bloutville, Tennessee at the Four Seasons Terrace, overlooking a rice field and our two water buffaloes. The wagyu beef was sensational. Chocolate flambe melt not bad, either.

On the next table were Ira and Gloria Slutzky.

-

Check the Dow Jones Industrials and $75/barrel price of oil in the right boxes.

-

ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU NEVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ASIAN ELEPHANT

Today we went to the Chiang Dao Elephant Camp, something I would have avoided if left to my planning. Best day of the tour so far.

Everyone knows that they are smaller than the African elephant (max of 11,000 pounds, although a large male rarely exceeds 8,000 pounds, compared to the 12,000 lb weight for the African) and have smaller ears. But did you know that the Asian elephant has 18 toenails and 19 pairs of ribs as opposed to 16 toenails and 21 pairs of ribs for the African? They say that Asian elephants are trainable, but not so for the African. This is a myth. Well, I'll return to this larger variety later on my safari this coming fall.

Pregnancy can last as long as 22 months and life expectancy is 60 years in the wild and 80 years in captivity. Most males have tusks, but not females. They sleep lying down like humans and average 4 hours/night. They eat (fiber like grass, bananas, sugar cane, etc.) 10% their body weight and crap 25% of that, so a four ton behemoth daily consumes 800 pounds and produces 200 pounds of spherical turds about the size of softballs. These natural hazards are generally deftly sidestepped by elephants. Now, aren't you glad you now know so much about the Asian elephant? Any one of these facts could suddenly confront you on Do You Want to Be a Millionaire.

I was fascinated by their ability to paint pictures. Of course, they are trained to do exactly the same thing in sequence, with their mahout (trainer who serves a lifetime with each elephant) picking out the brush and color. But the precision and relative logic was a surprise.

We went on a one hour trek as shown below. This was a wonderful experience. Here are Carole and Shep Goldstein (Boston, MA) on the right.

I purchased an elephant riding hat, except that I was told there is no such thing. Anyway, the color code was ideal for our tour bus.

Dinner was a Thai buffet with Curtis Lee (Honolulu) and Janice and Howard Kaplan of West Palm Beach, Florida. They are on their 28th Tauck tour. Curtis has only been on 14.

Thai dances entertained the group.

-

The Dow Jones Industrials had a nice day, up 118 to 10,186, and world markets also all increased. Gold jumped $23/toz to $1105 and oil is just under $75/barrel.

-