So, I instead continue my serialization of Chapter 6 from SIMPLE SOLUTIONS for Humanity to maintain the continuity of my Cairo nightmare. If you recall, in Section B I trashed the Nile Hilton. Turns out it is not a Hilton anymore. Why am I not surprised? If you missed A and B, we are now in the Sheraton Royal Gardens.
Let me share, though, some concerns:
1. You've seen those movies where you show up at the Pearly Gates and they can't find your name. The person on the phone I talked to must have screwed up because the attendant at the desk hotel said it was full, and for us to wait in the nice lounge, where they served us a refreshing drink. After a short wait, they showed us to our room, which is beautiful. They must have opened up a new area, at least that's what Pearl suspects, because there is no one else on our floor. We walked around the large pool and an Egyptian song was blaring. Later, I learned that the music was Mexican.
2. We had dinner the first night at Trader Vic's, that international chain. You ask, why didn't we catch the dinner cruise on the Nile or the sound and light show at the Pyramids? I show the above just for effect. Well, this Sheraton does not subscribe to any services for these kinds of things, so we needed to hire a private driver. We thus made arrangements to go to the Egyptian Museum, bazaar and Pyramids/Sphinx the next day. The Concierge found a driver with car for a cost about half of what that airport tour desk quoted. Anyway, at the hotel restaurant, where the food was good and service impeccable, there were a dozen people manning the tables, but we were the only customers. We stayed from 8PM to 10:30PM, and finally left when three more people finally showed up. It was weird. This is as large a Trader Vic's as any of the others in the world. The person running this restaurant came from Thailand, and he said that his father was manager of the Trader Vic's in Munich, at the hotel where the HyForum Conference, our next stop, was to be held. What a coincidence. All the restaurants here are being run by people from Bangkok—Inakaya and Senor Pico are the other to places to eat.
3. The next day, the front desk wished me happy birthday, and everyone knew our name. Strange. It was recommended that we not walk outside because all we'd see were street people. We could not catch a taxi. So we were effectively trapped. At about this time it occurred to me that the bump in traffic the previous day might have been more serious, and maybe, we have passed away, and this hotel was purgatory. Starwood is owned by God and this is just a stop to heaven, I hope. The Hilton here is purgatory for hell, surely. Interestingly enough, I had a Sheraton Year 2000 directory, and, of all the things, there were no Sheratons listed for Egypt, which made no sense because I earlier booked this one, and we saw at least three more obvious Sheratons in town on the way in from the airport. Maybe they were all recently disenfranchised, but kept the name. But like in the movies, they, apparently, allow you to make one more trip to Planet Earth, so we were picked up by our guide, who had an air-conditioned, purple Toyota RAV. One problem was that he did not speak English. The tour itself would take a whole page, so I'll skip it (except to say that the Egyptian Museum on the left—you know, that King Tut home—was very dusty with a few rooms set aside where the guards allow you in only for another fee, which is blatantly illegal, just another scam), but to editorialize that if you are not into this kind of adventure, hate the heat and dust, and don't care much for death and the afterlife, go to Las Vegas. The Luxor is about the same size as the largest pyramid, and I think the new Sphinx on the Strip is on the order of the ancient one.
4. We were delivered back to good purgatory, and Pearl and I celebrated my Yakudoshi (ominously, year of calamity) at Inakaya. The food was excellent and, again, the service was great. The toro (fatty blue-fin tuna) cost about 10% what it would have in Tokyo. However, again, we were the only ones eating in the table area. It seemed that there was a group of five at the teppan yaki grill way on the other end, but that could have been a hologram to make us feel more comfortable. The restaurant itself was huge, maybe the largest Japanese restaurant I have ever been in. The cook was from Bangkok, and he told us he learned everything at a Japanese restaurant in Texas. Oh yes, they brought us a chocolate cake with candle, and the staff sang happy birthday. The two Thai employees in addition sang a Japanese equivalent of happy birthday. But again, we were the only ones eating, and this hotel is supposedly "full." Except we never see anyone around. We have not seen a real tourist in this hotel.
5. We still had two days left, with nothing to do, so we decided to sleep in and fast for one day. We have been eating too well on this trip. Surely, we had gained several pounds from the cruise alone. About 1PM Pearl gave up because she got hungry. So much for our fast. But we ate in our room some stuff we had collected throughout the trip. For dinner we went to Senor Pico's. Twelve waiters were there to greet us, and we had one of the finest Mexican dinners we have ever had. The margarita (Professor Miyachi, you might want to consider passing through this purgatory) was perfect. There were seven in the Mariachi Band, dressed in traditional costume, and they entertained us through our entire meal. We were the only customers.
6. Today, we ate the fruit in our room for breakfast and went to the pool barbeque for lunch. People were swimming and sunning, our first real tourists, but again, we were the only ones who ate. The food was great, with free beer. Certainly, something is not quite right.
7. I have kept asking about the trip to the airport tomorrow, and the response is always that they are looking for the most cost-effective way for us to get there, and this has not yet been determined. The same people seem to work at the same stations, 24-hours a day. There is also this lighted room in a separate part of our floor—we remain the only ones, except for them—which overlooks the hotel area and pool, and there are people in white always there—sort of like a Ku Klux Klan revival meeting. At 4AM this morning, they seemed to still be in conference. Maybe they are the ones planning our future.
Of course, there are explanations for all the above, and perhaps, there are some minor exaggerations here and there. But isn't this all very interesting? If you receive this e-mail and never hear from us again, you are the very first to receive a communication from the afterlife, or, at least, purgatory. Send someone to the Sheraton Royal Gardens in Cairo to check out the place. Maybe rescue us. We still have one more dinner tonight, and we are planning to fool them. Stay tuned.
Aloha.
Pearl and Pat
P.S. This is not the end. Two more sections: "The Mystery Continues" and "Escape from Cairo."
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The Dow Jones Industrials dropped 58 to 10,214, while world markets were also almost all down, with the Japan Nikkei minus 183 to 9,179. Remember, this number was in the 10,000 range in June. Gold fell $5/toz to $1225 and crude oil is now below $74/barrel.
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The disturbance in the East Pacific is organizing, but not much, and there is new spot off Africa heading west.
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